Amy in Wonderland
by thebadwitch13
Summary: Amy Pond jumps into a new adventure, and this time the Doctor is not there to save her. Can Wonderland's not so humble hat maker handle mad, impossible, Amy Pond? Set after Vincent and the Doctor.
1. Chapter 1

Amy in Wonderland

Disclamer: I still own nothing

Of course there would be a rabbit hole in the TARDIS. It only makes no sense at all, so, naturally, the TARDIS provided it.

Amy Pond stood perched at the edge of the hole, eyeing it warily. She had been exploring the TARDIS as she always did at night, when the old nightmares visited her.

"What have you got for me this time, old girl," Amy asked, eyebrows raised and eyes glittering. Her voice echoed of the walls surrounding her, making her joke sound strangely ominous. Ten Amy's reflected back at the Scottish girl ,a trick of the numerous mirrors that lined the walls of what appeared to be a grand ballroom. The hall was relatively normal for the TARDIS.

Well, relatively normal… if one ignored the old, gnarly tree growing in the middle of the dance floor.

And the rabbit hole peeking out from under the roots of the elder tree.

"_I should turn around"_, Amy scolded herself silently, glaring at the humble hole with mistrust. After all, this was eerily like a certain almost-fairytale.

"I always give myself very good advice…," Amy recited softly, circling the hole. "But I very seldom follow it," she finished, a glint in her hazel eyes.

She jumped.


	2. Chapter 2Down the Rabbit Hole

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing. **

**Note: This story takes place directly after Vincent and the Doctor, just so you know :) **

The rabbit hole was endless, a strange pit of darkness and impossible flashes of light that continued on for quite some time.

"Was that a clock?" Amy turned, but the object had already passed. Indeed, she was not alone in the hole, her companions consisting of books (which she hastily dodged) clocks, thing-a-ma-bobs, _and was that my old dollhouse_?

"_The doctor's gonna kill me…well, if he finds out…which he won't_!" Amy reasoned with herself, imagining explaining why she jumped to the Doctor. Probably the same reason she ran away with the Doctor.

"What am I running from now, though…" she spoke softly.

She wasn't ready to answer that question yet.

The hole was lighting and, _was she falling slower_?

**Ughf**! Amy landed in a heap, her limbs falling over themselves, her scarlet hair a tangled mess. "At least I didn't hit my head…in whatever this… is," Amy turned slowly, taking in her surroundings.

Dust filtered through the stale air of the completely circular room, strangely shaped doors of various sizes lining the walls. The room had a feeling of neglect, like a forgotten place in an old house.

A rush of a sparking _something_ filled Amy, the same feeling that ran through her when she stepped foot on the Starship U.K

"Oh, I know you weren't there before!" Amy moved quickly, eyeing the small glass table that stood at the center of the room. Circling the table, Amy noted the small bottle on the tabletop.

"**Drink me**," the elegant tag attached to the bottle read.

Ha! As if she was that mad.

The Scottish girl picked up the bottle carefully, noting the odd glimmering quality of the silver liquid inside.

"So, I'm just supposed to drink you, yeah? And just, not think?" the redhead spoke out loud, watching the liquid with dazed eyes. Strange how it seemed to hold the light... glittered like diamonds… and…tears?

Amy looked down with amazement at her hand. Yes, that was a tear.

She was crying. Why was she crying? Something about diamonds…

Amy wiped her tears away, the same ache pounding in her chest that she felt with Vincent.

"Even here, huh?" Amy laughed bitterly. "Crying for oh, no particular reason.…even down a rabbit hole," Amy laughed again. It was not a pleasant sound.

"Well, I don't have time for this. I have a very important date and I think I'm late," Amy said without thinking. _Wait, what important date? What am I saying?_

Amy clenched the bottle tightly in her hand, knuckles turning white. She released a breath she didn't know that she had. Quickly, to distract herself, she glanced back at the glass table.

"Oh, come on! Again?" Amy exclaimed, rolling her eyes.

There, lying innocently on the tabletop, was a small golden key. Which she knew for a fact had not been there before.

Amy squared her shoulders. Clearly, someone, or something, was trying to tell her something. And who was she to deny their silent request?

With a clink and a gulp, Amy drank a tiny portion of the bottle, the key grasped in her hand.

_Apparently, I am this mad…_


	3. Chapter 3 Tiny

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Note: I promise a longer chapter next time…oh, put down the sonic screwdriver, I swear I will!**

"Well this is…interesting," the young Scottish girl whispered to herself, eyes wide with a wondrous glow.

She was tiny. Like tinny tin- about a foot tall. And currently drowning in a sea of cloth.

Amy detangled herself from her now monstrously large clothes, shivering as the air hit her bare skin.

_I'm_ _not going to have a grand adventure in the nude, I know that!_

Amy narrowed her eyes, thinking. _I guess I'll…_

Setting down the golden key she was still clutching (it had shrunk with her), Amy got to work ripping what was once her TARDIS blue scarf into passable clothes. She tied the blue material around her neck, and around her waist, making a make-shift halter dress that stopped just below her knees_. _Amy then ripped what was once a black skirt into a sling, a bohemian inspired purse.

"Not too shabby. Didn't need the sonic screwdriver for that one, did I?" Amy said smugly, hands at her hip, surveying the now cavernous room.

The glass table seemed miles above her, like a glass redwood tree. She could just make out the glass bottle with the mysterious silver liquid on top of the table. It was slightly worrying that she had no way to get big again...

"Well helllooo, what do we have here," Amy's eyes glinted as her gaze landed on an Amy-sized cake on the floor, with the words "**Eat Me"** attached to it on a tag. Striding over and placing up the cake in her bag, Amy had a sneaking suspicion about what the magic food would do.

But she wasn't ready for her adventure to end just quite yet. After all, there was still the key…

Grabbing the golden key off the floor, the redhead began to examine the various doors around the hall, looking for a perfect fit. _No, no, defiantly no_...She ticked off doors silently.

Then she found it. Hidden behind a dusty curtain was a tiny wooden door.

With a golden lock just the right size for a tiny golden key.

Sliding the key into place, and with a small click, the door creaked open.

"Oh, what have I got me- self into now?," Amy spoke softly, staring at the expanse of land before her.

It was a forest. Well, a….mushroom forest?

Towering red and gray mushrooms grew proud, surrounded by lush green ferns, flowers, and grass.

The air was heavy, thick with the perfumed scent of the meadow of flowers in the distance.

All in all, it appeared to be a sunny spring day…wherever she was…

Amy would not let herself think the word. This couldn't be Wonderl- _no, no, don't jinx it, Pond_!

Eyeing the ground beneath her, Amy realized she was currently standing on what seemed to be a narrow dirt path, leading its way deeper into the trees and further away from the mushrooms.

_Not like I have anywhere else to go._..

Striding forward with an air of determination, the fiery ginger set off on the path, humming "Follow the Yellow-Brick Road" quietly as she went.


	4. Chapter 4 Golden Afternoon

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Note: IT IS ALIVE! (I thought I better update this.)

* * *

The gravel pinched Amy's feet as she strode forward down the twisted dusty path, and the redhead couldn't help but wish that her shoes had shrunk with her. _But hey, you can't always get what you want_… Amy reasoned to herself silently.

Indeed, the girl had plenty of other distractions from her aching toes.

…like the fact that the flowers around the edge of the path were singing.

Yup. Singing.

In a five-part harmony, no less.

"All in the golden afternoon…. Come on, ladies! From your petals, don't let it go flat! Less bluebell, pleas-_oh my_….!" A commanding sunflower with kind, intelligent eyes peered out from under its yellow petals. Its delicate face wore an expression of pure surprise and shock, folding its dewy green leaves in horror.

Yeah. The _singing flower_ was surprised by _Amy._

"Um, hello? It's…nice to meet you…flowers…Ah, I'm Amy Pond," Amy said as politely as she could.

There was no need for her to be rude.

After all, she had seen far stranger things than talking flowers. Not to mention more dangerous.

A red rose let out a shriek of indignation, moving closer by wiggling its roots. "From _a pond_! Oh, get it away! Pond scum! Bottom dweller! This choir is for forest flowers only," the rose haughtily huffed, eyeing Amy with distaste.

"Excuse me! You are in no position to judge others, you… talking flower, you! And I'm from England, not a pond. I'm _a_ Pond. It's my name." Amy folded her arms, striking a defiant pose.

She wasn't going to take abused from the likes of... of…. _a flower_!

She got enough of that from her Aunt, thank you very much!

"Oh, calm down, ladies. Calm down, _calm down_, I say!" the sunflower ordered mothering to her charges. Seeing a lack of listening among the frantic flowers, the sunflower narrowed her eyes menacingly.

"I say! You will act like proper ladies! Especially you, Rosy….unless you want that _solo_ to be given to someone else…" the sunflower smiled triumphantly at the gasps of horror issuing from the soprano section. The red rose that had just insulted Amy nearly fainted.

"Ah, works every time… Why, hello, Amy from the Pond. It is very nice to meet your acquaintance. We are but a humble host of ladies who enjoy serenading the skies around us! But…I must say your petals are of very…_interesting_ shape, my dear. Is your pond from far way?" the sunflower inquired politely, ignoring the dark looks of her companions.

"…yes…I am…a foreign flower…" Amy spoke slowly, not quite sure what to make of the flowers… who apparently could not tell that she was of a different species. _Talk about __thick_, Amy thought to herself.

"Could you tell me, by the way, what this plac-", Amy halted her question, eyes growing wide at the sight in front of her.

A pair of bulging, yellow eyes hung near the branches of the willow tree high above her.

Just eyes.

Big, floating, glowing yellow eyes….without a body…

_They… almost looked like…cat eyes…what?_ Amy breathed deeply, not taking her eyes off of the shape that was slowly forming.

A smile.

A huge, terrible, laughing, _grin_.

…and…a paw? A waving, purple, paw?

Amy stood stock still as slowly, limb–by- limb, a striped purple and pink feline appeared.

Yes, it was defiantly a ginning cat….thought Amy was fairly sure that cats weren't supposed to smile…or magically appear out of thin air….

Still smiling, the cat beckoned towards Amy, waving her forward with a paw.

_Is….he telling me to…go with him? _Amy thought, slightly confused.

The cat nodded its great stripped head at her. And winked one yellow eye conspiringly. Like it knew what she was thinking.

And just as he came, the cat faded away, until all that was left of him was that _grin_ hanging like a crescent moon, held earth-bound by the branches of a willow tree.

_Well. That just answered one question_…

That was the Cheshire Cat.

….and she was officially in Wonderland.

Making a polite excuse to the flowers, Amy left, trailing after that laughing gin with a smile of her own that could only be described as giddy.

Because she was in the one place that she always wished she could go.

And not even the Doctor could stop her now.


	5. Chapter 5 We are All Mad Here

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Note: Written to "Unexplainable Stories" by Cloud Cult, take a listen! Thanks to all who read/ review!

* * *

They say that curiosity kills the cat.

Well. Amy had news for them…it didn't kill this one.

The Cheshire Cat lay languidly across the limb of a gnarled willow tree, his gargantuan gin still fixed on his face, looking down at Amy.

"Well Puss. You brought me over here… I'm guessing you...have something to say. Or are you just going to sit pretty and smile at me?" the Scott said bluntly, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow.

"Ah… but it is not me who has the questions. Is it…Miss Pond?" the stripped cat spoke slowly, his yellow eyes glimmering with glee. He began to lick at his paw, ignoring Amy for a moment.

"I didn't…tell you my name." Amy said, her eyes widening, unfolding her arms. "You… what do you know about me? Do you know the Doctor? Does he know I'm here?" the questions poured out of Amy, her words tumbling out like a waterfall.

"See? I told you I didn't have the questions. I may, however, have...a few… of the answers. I heard you speak to the flowers, Miss Pond. You told them your name. I'm afraid that I do not know of this…Doctor… that you speak of…" the Cat trailed off, his gaze on Amy suddenly becoming sharp and more _aware_.

"Well, dear. Are you not going to ask where you are? Who I am? Or who _you_ are?" Cheshire spoke with a tone of carelessness, but Amy could tell that he really did want to know the answers. Badly.

Oh….yes, right. Well, where am I? And who are you?" she asked, trying to sound sincere. She bloody knew very well where she was…but she wasn't sure if she should let_ him_ know that…after all, if she remembered the book correctly, all the inhabitants of Wonderland were (of course) wonderful…but they were...a bit dangerous.

"Hmmm. Well, I am the Cheshire Cat. And this…what do think all _this_ is?" the cat inquired, his eyes twinkling.

"I...asked you," Amy trailed off. She wasn't ready to show her cards quite just yet.

"Oh, my dear Amelia Pond. I believe you know just where you are. After all, you are _mad_. And now you are amongst mad people ..." the cat trailed off. His body started to go a little transparent, a little less solid.

The Cat was disappearing.

"Oy! You just stay right there Puss! No more… magic disappearing… thing. "Amy ordered, shaking her finger at the cat.

The purple- and pink feline paused, and his body began solidifying again.

"Yessss?" he purred, licking is paw again. His grin, if it was possible, grew even larger.

"How do you know that I am mad? I'm not mad! I was never mad!" the girl said hotly, a hurt look in reflected in her eyes.

She hated that word. _Mad_. All the kids used to call her that…except for one.

…Who was it that never called her mad?

Someone… someone never called her mad….

she couldn't…

...remember….

"Who?" she whispered to herself. Who _never _called her mad when she was little?

"Ahhhh. Finally. _That_ is right question, Miss Amelia Pond…. Who indeed? …" the cats grin changed suddenly...it seemed….sad?

"_Who_ indeed. Forgetting something, my dear? Forgetting _someone_, perhaps?" the feline asked, a strangely hopeful look in his wide yellow eyes.

"Ex-excuse me!" Amy gasped. How did this… this _creature _know what she had been thinking?

"Ah, no matter, little one. I'm sure you will find the answer…" the cat smiled sadly again, his body growing less solid.

… Fading, fading, fading…

…And all that was left of the mysterious feline was his sad, sad smile and his glowing, twinkling eyes.

He winked.

"No! Come back...please! Where…where do I go? What am I forgetting?" Amy cried, running forward toward the disembodied disappearing cat.

"_Who_. Who, Miss Amelia. Oh, as for how I knew that you are mad…" his grin turned gleeful again.

"We are all mad here," the Cheshire Cat declared, huge glowing eyes glimmering.

And he was gone.

"Oh, brilliant Amy. You scared away _the Cheshire Cat_, for God's sake. You only had a stuffed animal of him. No. Big. Deal." the redhead berated herself, shaking her head in disbelief.

Looking around at the twisted trees surrounding her, she stepped back onto the dusty little road. Walking dejectedly, Amy almost missed the small wooden sign near the edge of the road. Arrows pointed in opposite directions, words in elegant script on each one.

"_The Hatter"_, the one pointing to the left said. "_March Hare"_ the arrow to the right read.

Amy gave what could only be described as a girly squeal.

The Hatter.

As in, The Mad Hatter.

…She had a plushy of him as a girl.

(In fact, Amy had stuffed plushies of almost all the inhabitants on Wonderland as a child.)

But the Hatter had always been her favorite. Always.

"Well, looks like I'm going left, then. Defiantly left," Amy smiled, and lords help her, she skipped a little as she went down the road.

Our dear little Amy did not think about how the Cheshire Cat knew her full name.

..After all, she had only told the flowers her name was Amy Pond….

Not Amelia…

**Reviewers receive hugs and cyber tea!**


	6. Chapter 6 Mad Hatter

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Note: Written to "Walking on Air" by Kerli. My Hatter's based on Dr. Who and from the web comic "When Curiosity Meets Insanity".

* * *

Dust swirled in hazy puffs around Amy as she jogged lightly down the twisting dirt road through the forest. Light streamed in rays though the leaves of trees, as more and more of the bright blue sky was revealed as the trees became less frequent.

She had reached a clearing, an expanse of slightly brown grass hidden amongst the trees.

…Somehow, it didn't come as a surprise that He had a moat in front of his house.

Well…she wasn't quite sure if "house" was the right word…

…More like "structure".

It almost hurt to look at. Gargantuan in size, it towered over the surrounding trees. Literally "towered", the left side had a dark, ivy covered tower spiraling towards the sky. The right side was dominated by what appeared to be a thatched-roof covered old English- style cottage, with cozy white walls and a working windmill….An _actual_ wooden windmill, its blades lazily turning round in round in a gentle manner.

All of these features paled in comparison to the center part of the enormous thing.

Orange. A bright, blinding orange…

…teapot.

Yes. It as a house-sized, orange teapot- complete with a seaming spout aiming straight out towards the center of the entire building. The round sides of the teapot slowly seemed to (_somehow_) seamlessly blend into the tower wall, and the English cottage. Amy vaguely wondered if the teapots handle could be seen from the back of the house.

And of course… there was the wooden moat, which was currently drawn down across the small steam that ran in a circle around the perimeter of the property.

Oh yes.

This is most defiantly the home of the Mad Hatter.

…Because there was a long table laden with mixed-matched plates, pastries, cups, teapots, and tea in front of the monstrous house, placed smack-dab in the middle of the wooded "bridge" the moat created.

And He was sitting at the head chair, idly pouring himself tea…

...wearing a blue pin-striped suit... and long brown trench coat…. and...red Converse sneakers? Really?

Somehow, Amy had never pictured him wearing a suit. In fact, he didn't look like what she expected at all…

He was young...maybe in his thirties or so. He had messy chocolate-brown hair peeking out from under his blue pin-striped Sherlock Homes inspired hat (to match his suit) and… was he _mumbling_ to himself?

Indeed, the Hatter seemed to be in deep conversation with his teapot.

"Why are you being difficult? You love Earl Gray! Oh, don't be like that, I just washed you with that new cinnamon soap… _weeeell_- not completely new, I opened it last week, but it is new to you, I mean, and now-" the Hatter broke off, his brown eyes widening as he noticed Amy.

Amy nervously walked toward the table.

"Would you like a cup of tea?" the Hatter asked her with a wide, sparking child-like grin.

"Um, a-alight. Yes. Thank you," Amy stuttered out, walking forward and pulling out one high-backed chair to sit down upon.

"Now _behave_! We have a guest," the Hatter stage-whispered to the teapot. He started to carefully pour out tea into a dainty blue teacup, and gave a sigh of relief as he watched the tea come pour out normally…

"Oh, good. It was complaining earlier- wouldn't pour straight and splashed everywhere- well, not everywhere actually, just everywhere on me , completely _ruined_ my new hat- and who are you by the way?" the Hatter spoke in a constant stream, with an energy and enthusiasm of a whirlwind.

His eyes were sparkling again and Amy gave a start as she realized he had just asked her a question.

"Um, Pond. Amy, Pond. It's...a pleasure to make your acquaintance," Amy said, taking the teacup from him, trying to study him subtly.

He seemed…familiar. Like an old friend that she had just forgotten…though, that was probably just because she loved Wonderland so much as a child…

...his eyes were very dark, brown fading to deep- space black, with a childlike twinkle gleaming there- a star streaking through the night.

His eyes seemed...young and …very, very old.

Amy got a chill.

_No, no it can't be. It's just a coincidence. Stop it Pond! It's not Him, it can't be. You left Him "fixing" something underneath the TARDIS. Coincidence. Yes. It must be._

"Well, Miss Pond, it is nice to meet you as well. I'm afraid to say I was not completely expecting you. Are you a friend of Alice? She is supposed to come for tea today," the Hatter smiled at Amy, another burst of gleaming, wild teeth… a mad grin, Amy decided.

"Oh, I'm not exactly a friend of hers...but… I do_ know_ of her…" Amy spoke slowly.

"Ohhh! A fan! Why didn't you say so! Anyone who is a fan of Alice is always welcome here!" the Hatter clasped his hands together, suddenly seeming all of five-years- old.

"And where are my manners? I am Reginald Thermopolis, the third… also known as Hatter," he swept his hat off his head and gave a little head bow.

Amy had to suppress a giggle_ ( __giggle__, since when did she ever giggle?)_

"You are not from here," Reginald stated kindly.

"What? How…what makes you say that?" Amy asked quickly, eyes wide. She took a large sip from her tea to distract herself.

"You... seem like her. Alice. From the otherworld. …What is it called again? Ah, yes. _En-gland,_ strange word, that, seems rather boring but Alice isn't boring and you don't seem to be either, did you leave because it was too boring?" Hatter once again talked like a torpedo, as if his words were in a race.

"I, I don't know why I left. I needed to…get away… I think... I think I'm looking for someone," Amy said slowly, almost to herself rather than to him.

"Oh? Who are you looking for? I know everyone here," Hatter smiled encouragingly at Amy.

"…that's just it…I've forgotten who I'm looking for…I think I've… lost… someone…" Amy trailed off, her hands tightening on her teacup.

"I see." Hatter paused, considering Amy with eyes that flashed darkly, a swirl of fire and ice.

"Sometimes…I think we live too long..." Hatter mumbled to himself quietly.

He jumped up suddenly, his long brown coat bellowing behind him.

"Let's go find Alice. She'll know what to do. She always knows what to do," Hatter smiled madly again, the glimmer of darkness gone from his eyes.

He held out his hand toward Amy, wiggling his fingers playfully.

…She stood up, slowly placing her hand in his.

He grinned.

Interlacing their fingers, Hatter pulled her back towards the little dusty road.

They ran.

**Bet you didn't expect the tenth Doctor to show up. I like to keep you on your toes. Who do you think "Alice" will be?**

**Thanks to all my readers and reviewers! Cyber hot- apple cider to all who review!**


	7. Chapter 7 Alice

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Note: Written to "Must Be Dreaming" by Frou Frou. Thanks to all readers and reviewers!

* * *

Her lungs were burning. Her legs were burning. Her whole bloody body was _on fire_.

…She really should start working out. All this running only served to highlight how out of shape she was.

Hatter ran like an angry mob was casing after them, feet flying down the winding road, well, as if he was mad. Which he was…

"Can…we….slow…down?" Amy panted, valiantly trying to talk while running faster than she had in living memory.

"Nope!" Hatter yelled, his eyes twinkling as his mad grin grew larger and larger. "We're almost there….a little further….further…aaaaand… we have arrived!" he yelled dramatically, coming to an abrupt stop.

Amy buckled, doubling over and gasping for breath. _He's worse than the Doctor! Lungs...collapsing…oh, lord, what have I got myself into, _Amy wondered to herself. Taking slower breaths, she gathered enough energy to talk.

"You know you're mad, right?" she said lightly to Hatter, who was currently adjusting his tie, not looking tired at all.

"Oh, if there's one thing you should to know about Reginald is that he is _most defiantly_ a mad man. With a hat," a female voice laced with laughter said behind them.

Amy turned.

"Alice!" Hatter cried joyfully, spinning around on his heels and striding forward.

"…Alice?" Amy said tentatively. If she was shocked at what the Mad Hatter really looked like, seeing Alice was like being hit over the head with a cricket bat.

She was… all grown up. Her beautiful, long dirty-blond hair was arraigned artfully in an up -do, secured by blue chopsticks. She was wearing a simple, but elegant blue dress that stopped just below the knee, (no frills or petticoats in sight) and a modern, long plum velvet coat that looked like it had been tailed to fit her perfectly. Amy felt a pang of envy at Alice's footwear- she had on very stylish brown leather boots.

Alice looked about…twenty? Twenty-one? Amy wasn't sure, but it was near her own age.

And Amy _knew_ Alice.

…or, at least, she had someone who could have been Alice's twin. Amy had seen a picture of a dirty-blond young girl on the TARDIS memory-bank…

…in the database of the Doctor's past companions.

_Rose_.

…Yes, that was her name, when Amy dragged it out of the Doctor. Amy suspected the Doctor had been… _very_ fond… of Rose. But he had refused to say anything about the mysterious blond girl who dominated so many of his pictures... like he always refused to talk about his past.

Oh, yes...Alice was the splitting image of Rose…and a slow feeling of dread was creeping in on Amy. _Another thing of the Doctor's … it's like I can't escape him! _

"Hello Reginald. Any who is your friend?" Alice/Rose asked with a smile.

"Oh, Hello. I'm Amy Pond…it's…it's nice to meet you," Amy said quietly…everything was just a little too much for her…Wonderland was real…Alice was real…Rose… the Doctor...Hatter…_what did it all mean?_

"Very nice to meet you Amy…don't mean to be rude but… are you Scottish?" Alice questioned, looked Amy up and down.

"Er, yeah. Originally, anyway," Amy answered, trying not to be worried about how the Doctor had asked that same exact question to her…_coincidence, Pond, coincidence…_

"I see," Alice paused, seemingly thinking something over. "Did…did you… fall down a rabbit hole, by any chance?" she asked tentatively, looking slightly apprehensive.

"I did, yeah," Amy said casually. _Not_ _like I can mention it was in the TARDIS, can I?_

Alice and Hatter shared a brief look, and a silent communication passed between the two.

"Please, come inside. I'll make us a cup of tea," the blonde woman said with another smile, gesturing to the building behind her.

Amy stared. It was a cute little English cottage, with a wooded sign hanging over the door, "Bookstore," it read in loopy, elegant writing.

…And Amy was sure that it hadn't been there a second ago.

_Well. This is Wonderland, after all, _Amy reasoned with herself.

Alice opened the door, motioning Hatter and Amy inside the shop. Stepping forward, Amy felt a slight thrill- this was the first building she had entered in Wonderland. _Wonder what it's like…do things sing? Oh, I really hope not…the flowers were quite enough…_

The scent of books assaulted Amy's nose as she stepped through the door. And, indeed, there were quite a lot of books inside…

…this quite ordinary bookstore. The walls were lined with shelves, books organized carefully within the stacks. Two comfy plush chairs sat in the corner of the shop, in case customers decided to sit and sample some of the merchandise. There was a front counter for customers to purchase their books, with little bags that read "Thank you" on them…it was just like any other bookstore that Amy had seen.

She couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed at the…normality…of the store.

Alice was watching Amy, slightly amused. "Expected something…a little more outrage, did we?"she said to Amy, the laughter back in her voice.

"No! I mean, it's a lovely little bookstore. Well. Maybe… I was expecting something a bit more…mad..." Amy looked sheepishly at Alice.

Alice grinned. "You met the flowers, didn't you? They are a handful...or earful, more like," the blonde said with humor.

"I did come across them. They accused me of being 'Pond scum' and asked me what kind of 'flower' I was," Amy said, rolling her eyes and laughing along with Alice.

"Ahem," said a voice behind the two women.

Alice and Amy turned to see the Hatter, sitting casually in a leather chair behind them, _(where did that chair even come from?… oh, never mind_…) watching the two of them talk, and was currently pouring tea out of his blue hat into a dainty teacup.

"Weeell…I think…it's time the three of us had a little chat," Hatter said calmly, like his hat was not magically making tea. He gestured for them to sit down on the two leather chairs next to him _(those were not there before, I know this!)_ and took at sip of tea.

Amy sat down, sinking into the plush chair, as Alice did the same besides her.

"So. Miss. Pond here has a bit of a problem. It seems that she has lost something-"Hatter was cut off.

"_Someone_. I think I've lost...someone. At least that was what the Cheshire Cat told me. Only...I can't remember who I've lost…" Amy trailed off, tightening her hands upon the teacup filled with green tea that had appeared in her hands. She didn't even question where it was from, just took a sip gratefully.

"Hold on. You… you saw the Cheshire Cat? Big yellow eyes? Scary smile? Spouts off mysterious, cryptic advice? That cat?" Alice asked breathlessly.

"er ,Yes… Why?" Amy said slowly.

"Because the Cheshire Cat has been mysteriously absent in Wonderland recently. The Queen has demanded an audience with Cheshire, says she needs his counsel on an important matter. Rumor is that Cheshire told her he would appear to the person who could solve the Queen's problem…Which…apparently…is you, Miss Pond," Hatter said, uncharacteristically serious.

"…You know what this means, Reginald," Alice said, frowning.

"Yup. You're going meet the Queen of Hearts, Miss Pond," Reginald paused, his eyes twinkling once again. " Oooh- I hope she'll threaten to chop my head off again," he said, excited.

Amy gulped.

**Yes, Alice is Rose (though she is a bit different from the Doctor's Rose). Alice's clothes are from 2009 Syfy's Alice. Her running a bookstore is a reference to the Alice in "When Curiosity Meets Insanity." Who do you think "The Queen" is going to be? Lollipops to all reviewers!**


	8. Chapter 8 Curiouser and Curiouser

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Note: It's Baaack! It's been a while. I'm terribly late-Time and I have never gotten along. But the Doctor isn't too good with being on time, either.

"Does it ever bother you, Amy, that your life doesn't make any sense?"

-The Eleventh Doctor

Time was strange in Wonderland.

She noticed it right away. When she had entered Alice's Bookshop, it had been daytime, the sun shining high in the sky. Not anymore.

Moonlight filtered through the leaves, the tops of the trees looming high in the surrounding forest. A warm, lush wind blew through her fiery hair like a lover's caress. But Amy didn't even notice the playful breeze tangling her hair.

_Oh god, those are bright stars_.

Amy stood frozen, her gaze frozen on the thousand of stars dancing in the night sky. Stars that maybe she had seen from up close, flying fast in a blue box?...Hard to believe she had left those stars. That Blue Box.

She had to.

A rabbit-hole in the TARDIS?

How could she resist?

…_But how do I get back? How do I leave?_

"Time has been acting strange lately- something upsets him and then he does things like this", a pleasant voice said, interrupting her thoughts.

Hatter stood behind her, looking at the stars, hands in his pockets. He had put on a pair of black glasses and was staring at the sky like a doctor examining a patient. Amy got a chill.

Alice joined them, peering at the night sky with concern."We better take a Door to the Castle, Reginald."

Hatter grinned at the blonde girl. "Oooh! I do love going by Door! They can be so touchy though- had one slam itself in my face last week, got stuck for a few hours, terrible neck pain, would you believe it? Well. We better go hunt one down. Alonsy!"

At with that rallying cry, Hatter took off running down the twisted lane towards the forest.

"What's with all the running?" Amy asked, aghast.

Alice just laughed. "You get used to it after a while. We can walk- he'll get lost once he gets into the woods, guarantee it".

The two women walked in a comfortable silence…though Amy was fighting with herself to keep down her growing excitement. She was walking and talking with _The Alice_! Alice of legend!

"Sooo. You asked me if I was Scottish earlier…does that mean you're from my world?" she asked lightly, looking at Alice from the corner of her eye.

Alice raised an eyebrow at her. "Yes it does. I'm from London. And no, I'm not Her."

Amy blinked. "And who is… Her?"

"You know who. _The_ Alice. From the books."

_What_? Amy stopped walking at just stared at Alice- if she wasn't the Alice of legend…then that means….

"I'm just Alice. I fell down a rabbit-hole- it was just there, in the basement of the clothing shop I worked in. Couldn't believe it- Wonderland! Real! " The blonde women shook her head in amazement. " I used to go home every once in a while-check up on my mum and stuff … but I consider Wonderland home now."

Amy nodded in understand. _Sounds a lot like how I feel about the TARDIS and the Doctor_…

_Wait a minute_.

"You _used_ to go home? Why did you stop?" she questioned, instantly on alert.

Alice gave her a tight smile. A sad smile. "We'll explain everything when we get to the Castle. Come on- we better hurry up and find Reginald."

And with that Alice started running into the woods, her dirty-blond hair streaming behind her.

_Oh- more running. Joy._

With a sigh, Amy sprinted after her.

* * *

"Curiouser and curiouser …" Hatter mumbled to himself, eyeing the large oak tree in front of him with interest. He circled around the tree, his red converse shoes leaving footprints in the grass.

Hatter shook his finger at the troublesome tree. "What's wrong? I introduced myself- I even gave you a hug! Why the cold shoulder?"

Amy stared.

"He's talking to a tree? It's not a singing tree, right?" Amy stage whispered to Alice standing beside her. The redhead had huffed and puffed her way down through the woods, finding Alice watching the Mad Hatter act…well…mad.

_Talking to inanimate objects….running…leaving questions unanswered…reminds me of a certain bow-tie wearing time-traveler…_

"Mr. Hatter! Having a little trouble finding the Door, are you?" Alice said, wagging her eyebrows at him playfully…

…_and a maybe little flirtatiously?,_ thought Amy, _Alice? And The Mad Hatter?_ _Yes, please!_

Amy suppressed growing glee as she watched the Hatter sputter and begin to argue with Alice ("I don't need to ask for directions! Directions are for cheaters, Alice!") The two of them were arguing like… like little kids, pulling on each other's hair to get each other's attention….

…which was completely making the inner child in Amy squeal with joy. She had loved the idea of "Alice and Hatter" since she saw the new Disney movie with Johnny Depp… though she firmly believed that Tim Burton should be tarred and feathered for that terrible make-up on Depp…

"Hey you two! May I ask just what a 'Door' is?" she finally asked after watching the Hatter start reciting 'Jabberwocky' at the tree to no avail.

Hatter rocked back and forth on his heels. "It's exactly what it sounds like – it's just your standard inter-dimensional timey-whimy, spacey-whasy manipulator."

Amy folded her arms at him.

"It's a door from here to the Castle. Well, this one is, anyways." Hatter said finally, running his fingers through his spiky brown hair. " If it decides to _behave itself and open_ ," he said to the tree meaningfully.

"Is there a…password or something to open it?" Amy asked.

Hatter shrugged."Yes and no. If you say the right words, it might open…or if it thinks you've being rude, it will refuse to open… or if it's being _really stubborn,_" he said, waving his hat pointedly at the oak.

Amy eyed the graceful old tree. She admired its large, stable branches, its bottle-green healthy leaves…which were shaking with a little more force than the wind could ever provide.

_It's like the TARDIS when it's sulking at the Doctor_…

On a whim, Amy placed her fingers together.

And snapped.

… a door swung open from the trunk of the tree with blinding, swirling white light spilling out from the doorway.

Alice gasped.

The Mad Hatter grinned at Amy, his cinnamon eyes twinkling. "Brilliant!"

Striding forward confidently, his blue pin-striped suit straining to keep up with him, Hatter went through the Door, the white light flashing. And he was gone.

"After you," Alice said, holding her hand out towards the Door.

_Oh. No_ _pressure or anything…. I just have to walk through a random magic door in a tree…totally normal..._

Taking a deep breath in, Amy walked through the Door.

* * *

"YOU!"

Out of everything Amy was expecting from Wonderland, this most certainly was not it.

Well.

… a very familiar looking rose garden with trim green hedges was actually something Amy had hoped to see…and it came complete with…

…an imposing red-headed woman, clothed in a regal red gown straight out of a renaissance fair with petticoats and low-cut bodice, was currently shouting at Hatter, a murderous look in her eyes.

_Oh. My. God._

_Not another one!_

But indeed it was another familiar face straight out of the TARDIS archives…

_Donna_.

**Donna is indeed the** **Queen! Poor Amy- her life has never made any sense. Next chapter will explain the mystery that currently hangs over Wonderland…and it will also bring some more familiar faces! Every Queen needs a royal court, after all. Reviewers receive hugs and peanut-butter cookies!**


	9. Chapter 9 A Very Mad Tea Party

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Note: Thank you so much to everyone who read and review! I do read each of the reviews and I love them all.

"Amelia Pond. Like a name from a fairy tale."

-The Eleventh Doctor

"YOU! Hat-boy! Well… Where is it? Hmm… WHERE?"

The explosion of sound could be heard around the world- a fiery exclamation shooting out of the mouth of an angry redheaded royal. Hand on her hips, The Queen glared at Hatter, as if he might just burst into flames just by her stare.

The "Hat-boy" in question did not seem at all worried about being yelled at…in fact…he seemed to be enjoying it. Hands causally in his pockets, legs crossed, his lip turned upward in a stifled smile, his brown eyes seemed to dance with laughter like he was enjoying a private joke...which he probably was...

And then there was Amy…who was trying very hard not to panic.

_It can't be her. It can't, _Amy thought passionately, her heart beating fast_. But it is her. Donna. And…and Alice is Rose and…I think I'm going mad. Again._

Noticing a strange silence around her, Amy realized that everyone was looking at her. Great. " Oh…er, hello…your majesty…it's an honor to meet you," she said haltingly, bowing her head awkwardly.

"Oh, no need for the formalities- did away with them years ago." The Queen paused, eyeing Amy up and down. "Friend of _his_, are you?" The Queen jabbed a manicured finger at Hatter.

Alice stepped forward. "She fell down the rabbit-hole majesty. The Cheshire Cat talked to her."

A strange look passed over the Queens' face- a mixture of shock and…hope? She appeared to be frozen in thought.

Hatter gave a prodding "Your majesty?"

It did the trick. The royal roused herself, apparently fueled by annoyance at the sound of Hatter's voice."Hat-boy. Don't think you're getting off the hook because of this," she told him, arching an eyebrow.

"Wouldn't dream of it. No hook-escaping here. Well…there was that one time in Barcelona-"

"Tea. I need tea. The works, please." The Queen snapped her fingers and a pair of servants jumped to attention. Within seconds, the rose garden was a flurry of activity, tea-trays, cups, and tea leaves flying everywhere. Amy blinked and before her was a fully stocked high-tea arranged.

"Ooh! Tea at twilight!" Hatter stage whispered.

The Queen looked at him. "It's not twilight- it's way past that. When will you be able to tell time!"

"When Time starts being nicer to me. He's had the grudge against me my whole life, just because of my grandfather! Talk about not being able to let things go…" Hatter sighed.

Rolling her eyes at him, the Queen gestured to the table. "Please, everyone. Have a seat. I think we've got a lot to talk about."

Amy sat in one of the dainty red chairs, wedged between Hatter and Alice, facing Donn-The Queen_ ( It's not her. I'm just seeing things_!) Amy fought down a smile when she noted that Hatter was the only one served ice tea, much to his displeasure.

"You know, I don't think we've been properly introduced," The Queen began, taking a sip of tea, " I am the Queen of Hearts, Majesty of the Great and Lost land of Wonderland, ya-yada- I don't really like giving the whole title-"

Hatter snorted into his ice tea in disbelief.

The Queen narrowed her eyes at him. "Oi! Don't push me Hat-boy! You still haven't made me my hat. Two weeks late. _Two weeks_!"

Hatter grinned at her over his tea. "I just want to make sure it's perfect. Fit for a Queen!"

Alice kicked him under the table. Hatter simply went on like nothing had happened, munching on a jammy dodger with glee.

The Queen gave him an exasperated look, and then she turned to Amy. "So… the rabbit hole got you, did it? We've had a lot of poor souls who fall down it. Some stay. Some don't. Some are those little fangirls, always going on and on about some bloke named Lewis Carroll, who ever that it. But all of our visitors are here for a reason." She paused, her voice becoming soft and distant, " I hope you came here for a the right reason…"

"Cheshire Cat told me I'd… I'd lost someone…that I've forgotten someone…" Amy trailed off, realizing with shock that "I've forgotten to introduce myself! I'm Amelia Pond, majesty."

The Queen cocked her head to one side. "Amelia Pond," she said, rolling the name around in her mouth, "A little bit like a name from a fairy tale." She paused again, smiling for the first time since Amy had met her. "Oh, I think you will do just fine."

Looking Amy straight in the eye, the royal put down her teacup and folded her hands, an intense gleam in her eye. "So. I'm going to be honest with you, Amelia Pond. I need your help. Wonderland needs your help. Will you trust me? Will you help us, without even knowing why?"

The stars glinted at Amy through the watery reflection in her teacup, the light swirling darkly_. Trust me, _their silent plea echoed. _Trust me_.

"I trust you. I'll…I'll help you."

Her words seemed to echo in the night. Amy's fiery hair tangled, blown by the gust of wind whipping through the garden, swirling rose petals along with it. She caught the scent of roses, fresh grass and…tweed?... in the wind.

The Queen let out a full toothed grin, her face lighting up with relief- well, it did for a second before Hatter broke the silence.

"Oh good! We really need someone to help us find the White Rabbit- he's gone missing. Very bad for Wonderland, and very bad for business, he was one of my best customers-"

"_How do you know that_?" The Queen exploded, her teacup shaking in fury. "That is classified information!"

"That the White Rabbit was…is one of my best customers. I didn't know that my hat sales were that important to the crown."

"Not that, you skinny madmen!" The royal paused, taking a steadying breath.

Hatter grinned, his brown eyes flashing darkly. "How do I know the White Rabbits missing? I know everything. I'm the Hatter."

Rose (_Alice- that's Alice!)_ held up her hands."Calm down you two! Honestly! Anyone would think you're married with the way you fight." Alice tucked a stray blond hair behind her ear. "The White Rabbit's missing too? That is bad, isn't it?"

Amy had enough. "Hold on. Can you please explain things from the beginning? And what do you mean the rabbits 'missing too'?"

Hatter opened his mouth to answer-

"No, I'll tell it… _Reggie_," The Queen said, emphasizing the name. ( "Oh, don't call me that! It's Reginald! Reginald!")

"Two weeks ago an important artifact disappeared," the Queen began gravely, "It's called the Ring of Wonderland. The Ring is…everything to us. It controls the looking-glass, you see. The White Rabbit went to search for it one week ago. He has not come back."

Alice spoke softly, her eyes dark. "So Wonderland is in danger. We're all in danger, actually. We cannot control the looking-glass. You'd know it from the books- it's the mirror that acts as a portal between Wonderland to Earth…"

"So that's what you meant when you said you 'used' to go home," Amy realized, "No Ring- no way home."

There was a dark silence.

Amy spoke slowly, the truth coming to her at last."I can't leave, can I?"

"No without the Ring, I'm afraid. I'm sorry Amy." Hatter regarded her with his tired eyes. Old eyes.

The Queen talked fast now, a touch of anger entering her voice, " I tracked down that damn Cat…he told me the next person he would appear to would be the one to find the ring." Rolling her eyes, the redhead said hotly, "Actually the Cat's exact words were 'The Orange One who will trust without reason will be the Savior of Wonderland'. "

A male voice echoed in the dark of the rose garden. "The Orange One? Really? That's totally wrong…it's more like a scarlet or a blood red."

The Hatter grinned and the Queen hid a smile. Alice called playfully into the night "Come on out, you trouble maker. Figures you'd be listening."

"Oh, I'm always listening," the voice said flirtatiously… Amy thought it sounded like an American accent…

Stepping into the light of the tea table, a very handsome brown haired man grinned at them.

_Shit_.

It was another ghost from the Doctor's past…

"Hi," the man said to Amy, a wicked gleam in his eyes, "I'm Jack. Jack of Hearts."

**Ah!** **How could I resist putting in Captain Jack? More surprises and familiar faces in store! Who do you think is the White Rabbit? Reviewers receive hugs and red velvet cupcakes!**


	10. Chapter 10 I'm not myself, you see

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Note: Written to "Rabbit Heart" by Florence and the Machine. Thank you so much to all who read and review! I love you all- your support is amazing!

"Amy Pond. All alone. The girl who didn't make sense. How could I resist?"

-The Eleventh Doctor

"Hey! Stop it you!"

Hatter's voice rang out through the garden, his look of disapproval illuminated by the moonlight. He held up his finger at Jack, who didn't seem fazed at all by Hatter's warning.

"What?" Jack said innocently, his eyes wide. "I was just saying hello! I'm allowed to say hello."

Amy laughed at Hatter's look of disbelief. "I don't mind. Really. I'm a big girl- I'm sure I can handle him."

Jack grinned saucily at her, his teeth glinting. "Oh, you can handle me anytime Red."

At this, Hatter, Alice, and the Queen all gave sighs of a long- pained annoyance. "Really, Jack, really? Is this the time…." Hatter muttered, but a smile tugged at his lips.

Amy raised her eyebrow at Jack. "Calm down there big boy. 'Red' here does have a name… and pepper spray."

Jack laughed. "Oh, I like you!" Walking over to the tea table, Jack grabbed a cupcake (red velvet, of course) and just looked at all of them. "Well?" he asked around the cupcake. "When do we start? We have a ring to find and a bunny to save."

The Queen narrowed her eyes. "We?"

Jack shrugged. "Yeah, we. As in, all of us."

Alice and Hatter looked away, mumbling.

"Hey!" Jack cried, outraged, "You're not leaving me behind. I'm head of security at the castle! I'm coming with you."

Amy looked him up and down, considering. _He looks like Prince Charming….and is that…a sword? Really? What century is he from?_

"Why not." Amy decided. "All of you know Wonderland a lot better than I do, yeah? So maybe…a little more company couldn't hurt."

Hatter looked heavenward. "Oh tea, help us all."

* * *

Amy couldn't sleep.

Really, she was practically an insomniac at the rate she was going. Here she was, inside a bedroom fit for a princess in a bloody_ castle_ in _Wonderland_ and still, still she found herself awake. Pacing the length of the room, Amy paused, staring at her reflection in the gilded giant mirror on the wall. The frame of the mirror was decorated in swirling, glittering hearts, to match the heart wall-paper adorning the walls of the circular room. When the Queen's pawns had shown her the bedroom where she would be staying for the night, she could barely contain herself- she, little Amelia Pond, the Scottish girl stuck in England, was in Wonderland…it was like a dream.

And yet she still could not sleep.

Just like in the TARDIS, tossing and turning in her bunk bed, wondering again why the Doctor had put her in a room for two… wondering why she always felt cold at night.

She took a step closer to the mirror.

Who was _that_? Who is that fiery redheaded girl with shadows under her eyes?

What had made this girl so sad?

Amy didn't know.

… But there was something, something in the corner of her eye, lurking and itching at her, a panic she felt moving under her skin, a feeling like…like she was forgetting something.

Something important.

An echo sounded in her mind, the memory of giant, yellow eyes and a laughing terrible grin telling her "…. _Forgetting something, my dear? Forgetting __someone,__ perhaps?"_

Amy decided, peering into her sad eyes and seeing the ghost of the Cheshire Cat's glowing yellow orbs, that she liked dogs better than cats.

Turning away from the mirror, Amy grabbed the silk red robe the Queen's attendance had left for her, and slipping into the matching red slippers, she turned the heart-shaped doorknob, peering into the dark of the hallway.

She was in the mood for an adventure.

* * *

Figures she would end up in the kitchen.

Following the twists and turns of the hallway, she had quickly gotten lost, dizzy from the nonsensical pattern…if the TARDIS was confusing to navigate, the Heart's Castle was impossible. Some doors were locked, some doors opened to rooms she'd rather not explore, some doors weren't doors at all but walls pretending…finally, she had chosen a simple wooden door, revealing a modern kitchen with gleaming stainless steel appliances.

But the kitchen itself wasn't what was interesting…. it was who was in it.

She was drinking tea.

Leaning causally against the counter, her fingers drumming a melody against her blue teacup, her curly blonde hair tied into a bun on her head, River Song looked completely casual. Like it was totally normal for her to be in Wonderland.

"Green tea, my dear?" River held out a cup to her, smiling sadly. "You're going to want to sit down for this one, Amy Pond. We need to talk."

**Ah! River- up to her old tricks…or is she really? Who is River Song in Wonderland? Reviewers receive hugs and Jelly Babies! I promise to reply to all reviews this time!**


	11. Chapter 11 Impossible Things

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Note: Thanks so much to all readers and reviews! I'm going to be updating more regularly. Written to "Secrets" by One Republic.

"We're all stories in the end."

-The Eleventh Doctor

Amy was trying very hard not to panic. Standing erect, her body strung with tension, she stared at the curly blonde women standing in the Heart's Castle kitchen, casually making herself tea.

"Are you sure you don't want to sit down?" River asked, putting sugar in her tea.

"I'll stand." The words came out in a hard whisper, her heart beating very fast...

….River Song.

Professor River Song, the mysterious time traveler from the Doctor's future, who always was a step ahead, always had the answers…well. Amy had quite a few questions for River and she bloody better answer them.

"Should I even ask how you got here?" Amy said quietly, her voice holding barely controlled panic.

"I came in through the back door, the Queen of Hearts isn't too happy with me, nor is our friend the Hatter. I try to avoid him when he's around Alice." River paused, taking a sip of her tea. "I'm not entirely sure Alice trusts me, she's the jealous type you know."

(Amy knew there had been a reason she liked Alice.)

Narrowing her eyes, she crossed her arms. "Trust you River… really?"

She really, really didn't want to play any more games. She needed answers. Now.

River sighed. "Oh Miss Pond, you're going to need all the help you can get, especially when maneuvering around Wonderland, it's not the most friendly of places." The older women smiled at her gently. "One day you'll trust me. Completely. But it seems that day is not today… that being said…I must ask why you are calling me a river –I've always preferred the sea myself."

Oh god no. Not another one.

No.

She refused to believe it.

"Oh, come on River, I know it's you! What are you doing in Wonderland? And what the _hell_ is going on? I fall down a rabbit hole, end up in a children's story- and the Doctor's past companions just magically become fairy tale characters? Missing rings? Missing rabbits? _And who am I forgetting?"_

Silence fell.

River put down her teacup.

And for the first time, Amy noticed the blonde women's eyes.

Sad eyes.

Old eyes.

… Like the Doctor's eyes, like the Hatter's eyes…like her eyes now.

Amy sat down, still holding this mysterious women's gaze.

"…Miss Pond. I'm afraid that you may have… mistaken me for someone else. I do not know about any 'River' or any 'Doctor'…." The blonde trailed off.

Amy closed her eyes. It wasn't her. This was far, far worse than meeting the Doctor's companions ghosts- this was _River_. She knew this woman… well- as much as you can know River Song…the women who knew everything, all written down in a little blue book.

Her hands curled into fights, her nails biting her palms.

This was not River.

…and still her questions went unanswered. Again.

A soft voice interrupted her thoughts.

"But I may be able to help you about missing rings and missing rabbits, Miss Pond. That's why I'm here, actually. I have something for you- I think it may be of help on your journey." Carefully, the blonde pulled out a yellowed old scroll, tied together with a white ribbon. She handed it to Amy. "This is very, very old and very very valuable. It is the last one, there is no more left. Keep it with you at all times."

Amy eyed the scroll, feeling its rough paper, almost like cloth. "Why are you giving this to me?"

River's twin, or whoever she was, smiled sadly at her. "Because you're the traveler Miss Pond. A traveler needs a map." The blonde raised her eyebrows. "And one last thing- a message for the Hatter… and you must remember this if you ever hope to find that ring and return home… _The White Queen lives."_

Amy blinked. "The White Queen lives? Is that it?"

"It will make an impression, I assure you." River's doppelganger stood up. "And I'm afraid it was time that I left- the guards will be waking up by now, bless them."

_Hold on…_ "You never told me your name!" Amy burst out. "Who are you?"

The blonde grinned. "Now there's a loaded question! They call me The Duchess. It's been a pleasure Amy- I'll be seeing you." The Duchess reached into her one of the pockets in her cargo pants, taking out a candle and began rummaging through her other pockets.

_Wait a second._ "We've never met before, yeah? Then how exactly do you know my name?"

"Ah, there you are!" The Duchess held out a match from her breast pocket. "Candle- the fastest way to travel."

"How do you know my name?" Amy repeated, standing up.

Duchess lit the match, the dancing flame reflected in her eyes. Swiftly, she lit the candle.

The flame burned black.

River's ghost met her eyes, smiling. "Spoilers."

The candle flame flickered and grew brighter and brighter, blinding until the whole kitchen was filled with white light, a star exploding, and Amy's eyes burned –

And the Duchess was gone.

Amy rolled her eyes. _'Spoilers', really? River, Duchess, whoever she is… she'll never change…_

* * *

The next day dawned bright, sunlight peeking through the curtains of Amy's room, dust swirling like glitter in the sunbeams path. Amy groaned, hiding her face beneath her pillow…until she realized she was not, in fact, in her bunk bed and these were definitely_ not_ her red silk sheets…

And it all came rushing back.

The rabbit hole, drink me bottles, singing flowers, gigantic yellow eyes and a laughing grin, the Hearts' Castle…. The Hatter, with his strangely familiar eyes and pin striped suit…Alice, all grown-up and beautiful and wearing Rose's face…River disappearing in a candle flame.

Wonderland. She was in Wonderland. How could she forget?

Amy flung back her covers, her eyes immediately seeking the old scroll River had given her- there it was, safely on her bedside table. She still hadn't opened it yet.

Amy grinned.

_If only the Doctor could see me now, _Amy thought_, he would be so jealous!_

Eagerly tearing through the clothes left in the closet, Amy couldn't help but laugh. _Of course. Of course, even in a children's story, some part of him would be around…_

The breakfast table shook under the heavy assortment of food- pancakes, eggs, sausage, and more tea than Amy had ever seen in her life. Staring, Amy realized that all the food was magically appearing out of nothing- French toast, bisques, even cold cereal… really. The only thing missing was fish fingers and custard… Surrounding her was the most unusual bunch of people she had ever woken up to- Jack skillfully trying to charm Alice out of the last piece of toast, the Mad Hatter accidentally-on -purpose spearing Jack with his fork for flirting, the Queen of Hearts laughing at them all…

"Amy...is it a fashion in England to wear bow-ties as a bracelet?" the Hatter asked her around a piece of pancake.

Amy looked down at the red bow tie around her wrist, as she told him casually "Oh, bow-ties are cool."

Hatter nodded, and then turned towards Jack, who was trying to calm down the Queen.

"Three guards caught sleeping on duty last night Jack! It's unacceptable!" the Queen said, furious.

Jack held up his hands in surrender. "They all had lipstick on their faces, it was really weird…"

Amy hid a smile. "I think I know what happened."

The Queen raised her eyebrows. "You do?"

"Yeah." Amy paused. "The Duchess came to see me last night."

"Her!" The Queen spat. "I banned her from the castle after last time! What did she want?"

Amy turned her eyes towards Hatter, holding his dark gaze as she told him, "She wanted me to give you a message…She said that '_the White Queen lives._'"

The Queen dropped her teacup, the sound shattering though the heavy silence. The Hatter went pale and Alice gasped. A dark look came over Jack's face.

"What?" Amy looked around. "What does it mean?"

The Hatter's face was tight. Gone was the easy grin and mad twinkle in his eye, replaced by a cold steal, like fire and ice and the weight of the universe. He opened his mouth, his voice coming out tried and very, very old. "Amy Pond… it means war."

**What do you think? Do you like River as the Duchess- she's a character from the original Lewis Carroll **_**Alice**_**. Also, I stole the traveling by candle from Neil Gailmen's **_**Stardust. **_**Reviewers receive hugs and cookie-dough ice cream!**


	12. Chapter 12 of cabbages and Kings

Disclaimer: I own nothing

"Time can be rewritten."

-The Eleventh Doctor

" Amy Pond… It means war."

The sentence echoed over the breakfast table, sucking the air.

The silence was deafening.

Amy sat still, eyebrows furrowed as she looked hard at the Hatter, then at the Queen, who seemed to be in a state of shock. But not for long.

"Mr. Hatter," the Queen rose from her chair, and the hairs on Amy's arms stood up. "Mr. Hatter, I believe I am the only one who can declare war. And the word of a vigilantly is not enough to prove that….that the White Queen is still with us. We already launched a full-scale search for her, it is clear she died on her journey through the Tulgey Wood. However, we will investigate the Duchess's claim. If this…claim…is false, then the Duchess will finally be taken to the dungeons."

The Queen paused.

Amy stopped breathing. She'd seen that look in someone's eyes before- with the Angels, as the Doctor single handedly shot light into the dark.

"If it is true, and my oldest friend lives… then we will go to war with the White Kingdom."

Her hands clenched, body taught with power , the Queen of Hearts let her words sink in to her companions.

For a moment, there was a silence, the calm before the storm.

Then all hell broke loose.

Alice, Hatter, and Jack all jumped to their feet, as the Queen bellowed orders to Jack, and the Hatter argued with her, offering his own ideas.

"We will need to send an ambassador party, something non-threatening…we do not want to arouse suspicion as we poke around…" the Hatter began, pacing madly, his red trainers strained to keep up with him.

The Queen snorted." Don't you think I know that, you madman, I already know who we'll send. It will have to be someone he doesn't know yet, and maybe someone he likes, and someone he hates…"

Hatter stopped pacing. "Oh no."

The Queen nodded firmly. "Oh yes. Mr. Hatter, I formally request your assistance in taking young Alice and our new champion Amelia Pond across the chessboard to the White's Castle to investigate the whereabouts of the White Queen. Do you, freely and under no bounds, take this journey?"

Sighing, the Hatter ran his fingers through his already messy hair. "Yes, yes, I Regained Thermopolis the Third, the Hatter, hereby taken this journey under her majesty the Queen's shield…but we are not walking all the way, I got terrible blisters last time, completely ruined my dancing at the ball-"

"Not to be rude or anything…but what in bloody hell is going on?" Alice asked, her arms crossed, looking expectantly at the Hatter.

"Weeeellll-" the Hatter began, before the Queen elbowed him in the ribs.

"I'll tell it hat-boy."

Squaring her shoulders, the red-haired Queen began to speak, saying the words as if it were engrained in her memory. " Since the beginning, there has been the Kingdom of Hearts. Across the Great Chessboard lies the White Kingdom. Beyond the Looking-Glass other worlds hide, with the Ring to hold the worlds apart. A Queen to rule the Hearts, A Queen to rule the Whites, until the end of Time."

Amy blinked. "Sounds like a rule."

"It is." The Hatter raised his eyebrows. "It's a part of the Rules of The Looking-Glass, older than Time itself."

_Does he have to keep talking about Time_, Amy thought frantically, _anything but Time_. "So, the White Kingdom is a friend of yours, yeah? Then why …all this war business?"

His dark eyes flashed ice. "The White Queen went looking for The Ring…she never came back. They declared her dead. The Crown was supposed to go her son…but he's missing as well. So the Kingdom is currently under the White Queen's advisor, the White Knight, until the Prince is found."

"But Duchess said that the White Queen lives…" Amy trailed off, thinking.

There was something she had forgotten…

…the Heart's Queen's words echoed in her ears _" I formally request your assistance in taking young Alice and our new champion Amelia Pond across the chessboard…"_

Her eyes wide, Amy said softly, "Champion. You called me a Champion."

"Yup." The Hatter rocked back on her heels. "Could use 'Savior' or 'Wizard' or 'Hero' or 'Healer', but Champion is always the official title of the outside that fights and saves the world and stuff."

"Save the world?" Amy said, crossing her arms. She turned toward the Queen, shifting her eyes back and forth between the royal and the hatter.

Hatter smiled winningly, his manic grin threatening to crack his face.

Amy sighed, rolling her eyes."Oh, alright. It's not like I haven't done it before…"

**I'm late! I'm late! For a terribly important date! I'm sorry, dear readers, for the delay…the TARDIS coils overheated, and sent me off to Earth, to University, of all things! There were papers and finals and all sorts of nasty creatures disguised as teachers! No matter. Reviewers receive hugs and gingerbread cybermen!**


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